doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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