the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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