some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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