Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
