he shaved USA in his pubs
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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