You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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