You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
