the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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