Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
