Quick, to the slutcave!
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
