so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
