i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
