are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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