New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
