I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
