It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
