our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
