What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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