Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
