I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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