sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
