So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Your penis caused this!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
