I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
