so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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