the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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