Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize