Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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