just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
