i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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