So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
