just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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