Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
