Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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