these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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