my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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