hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
