i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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