You work out of a Hotel?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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