Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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