? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
