so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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