oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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