You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
