No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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