Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I feel like death gave me a hand job
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
