i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
