put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
