I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
