I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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