i need an iv and a liver transplant
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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