I look better un-naked...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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