I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
