its not stalking. its research.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
