Are we in a gay sports bar?
I cannot find my penis.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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