I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
