i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
