He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
