I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
tequila makes me forget i have legs
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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