is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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